Monday, January 3, 2011

You Have To Give It Up

I have had ideas swirling in my head all day of the thoughtful post I had wanted to write tonight, but alas, the thoughts have become more like tornadoes, amassing confusion and strength as they pulse through my brain. Yes, my thoughts pound their fists against the walls of my mind, but they seem trapped tonight. Trapped by life : meals, messes, Algebra, phone calls, piano lessons, broken-down cars, bickering, laughter, and little children wanting we can say goodnight...a long goodnight.

A goodnight with candles and prayers and lots of stories, not books, but stories "about you when you were little, Mommy!"  I am warmed by tender faces and gingerly I embrace the night; I'm not fighting, thinking of what needs to be done and what hasn't been done, and WHAT I WANT TO DO as soon as their eyes will just CLOSE! In a flood, all the thoughts are stilled, and I realize...I am always talking about wanting to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

Do I? The moment is that which we are doing RIGHT NOW. Am I beating a dead horse, because I'm just talking about what I need to do, and I'm not really doing it? Is it possible that "living in the moment" is sometimes a starched, awkward, restless being strapped in a straight jacket?

Perhaps it is difficult to live in the moment, because the moments we LIVE in are usually lived for others. Giving, stretching, waiting, serving, listening, BEING for others, when what I crave is MY OWN MOMENT. I can't live in the moment, because I WANT IT FOR MYSELF. And when I am looking to grasp the moments and pull them to self, I am dissatisfied.

I am not saying that is is wrong to have time for ourselves. Of course, we need quiet times to reflect and refresh our souls. Even Jesus sought a quiet place to be with the Lord. It's just that it's all too easy to think of time in terms of being OUR OWN. All of our time, no matter how it is spent belongs to God. So the first step in living in the present is GIVING TIME BACK TO GOD... GIVING IT UP.
Peace comes from being a shelter to others, embracing that which God entrusts to us at any given moment.

Emily decided that Sam needed a little "corner" of his own. So she did this for him:

Oliver and Sam bought some Nerf guns with some Christmas money they received:

Isn't it amazing how siblings will bicker and squabble when given toys and playtime , but cleaning a kitchen
together forges their friendship? John Paul and Emily look like they're fighting, but they are acting as English gentlemen. You should hear their accents!

Slumber party in Mom and Dad's room:

Will and Samantha: