Coming To Terms

I was a vegetarian for a short period of time during my college years. Instead of thinking I had gone off the deep end, my sweet mother experimented with tofu and veggies and we still make some of the dishes discovered in those days.

Then I met Travis, and well...let's just say it never would have worked for him to have married a vegetarian. I willingly began to eat meat again, but I had come to terms with the fact that an animal has to die for me to gain that nourishment.

That was an important step for me. The Lord knew I would be bearing many sons who,like their father, would embrace the outdoor world in all its capacities: hunting, fishing, trapping, crabbing...Imagine if I had never come to terms with what has to happen when I choose to eat a hamburger!

It's interesting how the same people who will sit and eat a steak will think it's wrong to hunt. An animal still has to die to provide that steak...and I have accepted that.

Coming to terms with raising my own animals for food has taken that acceptance to a whole new level. Chestnut, Penny's calf, was born a year and a half ago. I knew when he was born that we would be raising him for food. But I still found myself thinking that I would not be able to eat the meat that his life afforded.

Even a week ago, as I drove to pick up hundreds of pounds of beef to fill our freezer, I didn't think I would be able to eat that meat. Then Oliver said something to me that changed my whole perception. "Mom," he said, "The people who say we shouldn't eat meat aren't thinkning right, because God provided animals for us to feed us and give us protein. It says that right in the Bible."

Gulp. yes....God did do that. Suddenly I realized that I needed to be filled with thanksgiving, not hesitation, for what God has generously provided for us! I am not making a statement against vegetarianism; rather I am reaffirming the rightness and goodness of allowing God to provide for my family.

There is a profound thanks and appreciation that comes from nurturing and sustaining that which God provides. Whether it is the tomato swelling ripe in the garden, or the calf nursing in the pasture,it is evident that God has given us a share in his Dominion (ref Genesis 1:26), a part in his creative process.

Not all of us can raise our own animals (or would want to), and many of us can't even have our own gardens. However, we can still acknowledge God as the provider of all and thank Him for allowing us to take part in nourishing the very food that sustains our existence.

A Little About The Garden

Ben and Will took over the gardening this year while their dad was away......
It looks like Dad might be out of a job next Summer!

Here is Will with his abundant peppers....I think he had ten different varieties. He enjoyed 'pepper sandwiches' for lunch all Summer. (Notice John Paul poking his head in the doorway.)

The freezer is filled with tomatoes, peppers, and green beans. The pantry is loaded with jars of salsa...our favorite. Some of the tomatoes were grown from heirloom seeds that have been in this community for years. The Ox heart tomato, a hearty flavorful tomato shaped like an Ox heart, has been passed on from friend to friend. The friend that gave me our plants asked me to harvest the seeds so that we can have more plants next year. I saved the seeds on a small square of paper towel and put them in an envelope for her. I think that this 'seed sharing' is the essence of what I love about living in Deerfield. It truly is a community.

Spring

 How I love a sunny day in Spring! The cows escaped today, and after having some fun with them in the yard (Emily was riding one like a horse!), Ben and I fixed the fence. Down at the barn my spirits soared when I saw that the Barn Swallows have made their return!! I am so happy that we can provide a nesting site for these lovely birds. They are the ultimate recyclers, as they reuse the same nests every year.

We've been having lots of eggs for breakfast....it's that time of year. Is there any comparison between the rich golden color of a farm egg and the pale yellow color of a store egg? Now I know all eggs come from farms, but that's how my kids distinguish food grown at home and food from the store....farm egg or store egg, cow's milk or store milk. Mary Margaret couldn't believe it (just last year) that the milk sold in stores comes from cows, too!

The children spent most of the day making a "village." They all made forts...Emily and Sam were running a flower and sandwich shop, and Oliver was the banker. They stayed busy all day in their forts, while I cleaned inside..with the windows open!

Here are the flowers bagged up to sell...amongst the hundreds of cans of tomatoes I bought dirt cheap at Martin's in the fall. I had actually bought two tubs that size, but we have used one of the tubs.

The children made their 'stores' in the basement and the surrounding out buildings...

A friend of mine told me about the Weight Watcher's cabbage soup...It is delicious. Sure to become a favorite!

I hope you are enjoying Spring, and that wherever this day finds you, you will have many blessed moments~

What It Really Means To Be Free

I was tempted to start another blog yesterday, but I didn't give in to the urge. I've gone that route before, and it's too hard to try and compartmentalize my life, when what is on this blog should represent a whole, all of me. Lately I have been "foraging" for greens and such to accompany our meals. I thought I would start a blog about forage finds, but then I decided that I would just make a foraging label on this blog!

Anyhow, I went out to the stubble of last year's garden and was pleasantly surprised to find some Arugula poking up through the brush. There wasn't much, but enough to make a small salad....in February, no less!

Earlier I had ground some wheat kernels to make our daily bread, and I had the venison from Autumn's hunt, thawing in a bowl. I was inspired to take a picture of this bountiful trio. I find there is so much beauty, so much art in the daily living of life.

A little later I was making tea from the mint gathered in Summer's ebb. How generous is a God that lavishes us with herbs and spices to perfume our days.

Isn't that what life needs to be? We need to find the green in winter's bleak, know the mirth of starkness and vulnerability.

I mentioned in a previous post that I was reading  Lysa TerKeurst's book, Made To Crave. One of the Bible verses Lysa mentions throughout the book is this:

 " 'Everything is permissible for me' "--but not everything is beneficial. " 'Everything is permissible for me' "--but I will not be mastered by anything. (1Corinthians 6:12)


I have thought a lot about that verse lately, and I experienced the weight, the empowerment, the freedom of it - this morning. I was preparing pancakes for the children, and I was just dying to have one. OK, two..maybe three? Small ones? I thought- "I'll just have them without the syrup...it's fine. They're so warm and fluffy- and cooked in bacon grease to boot."

Now I like pancakes, but I don't die for them; I mean they're good, but they're not GOOD! But isn't it funny how the moment we feel deprived of something, we long for it- pine for it!?

I found this in our computer's photo library...fits the post, huh? Emily took it one day when she and mary Margaret were having a "photo shoot."

 I wanted those pancakes in the worst way! I have been praying for God to help me make better food choices, and in the midst of pancakes and syrup I had a grace moment. I thought of the verse mentioned above, and it suddenly dawned on me :  I am not being deprived of these pancakes. I am making the choice to forgo pancakes and make a healthier breakfast choice to benefit and sustain my body until the next meal.

Making choices is not about deprivation. Making choices is empowerment. God has given us free will to make decisions that will fortify and edify our souls.

Can a simple act of choosing whether or not to have pancakes for breakfast be a spiritual decision? As Lysa explains so eloquently in her book...YES!!!

Every moment is made of choices, Every hour is made of moments, Every day is made of hours, every year is made of days, every life is made of years.....Every lifetime is built upon the choices we make, moment to moment.

I have wondered " How in the world did these pounds creep up on me the last ten years?" Creep is the right word. Think about it: If you only gained three pounds a year, ten years later you would be thirty pounds heavier. Three pounds a year averages out to only be 1/4 pound a month, but ten years later you're thirty pounds heavier. This scares me! But what it tells me is that gaining weight doesn't happen all at once; it's an accumulation of moment to moment poor choices and bad habits over a long period of time. Conversely, losing weight will be a matter of making good choices over and over, moment to moment- for a long period of time, for a lifetime!



Sam's Leggo creation


Jean- Pierre De Caussade, in his book, Abandonment To Divine Providence, writes:

"Take away from the senses what they worship and they will weep like deserted children, but faith must triumph, for nothing can destroy the will of God. When the senses are really attacked, starved and stripped they collapse, and faith becomes stronger and more alive than ever." (p41)

Isn't that so true? Our senses, our cravings, plead sometimes to be satisfied. It may be wanting to buy something, or physical lust, or unsatiated appetites for food. Even more serious addicitons: alcohol, drugs, pornography-  all have the same root. All these temptations and addictions are attractive to us because they promise to fill a longing deep within our souls. The sadness, the irony, is that none will.

The only way to satisfy our souls is to drink from the living well, to satiate with God.

Caussade writes:

"Neither reason nor the senses are ever satisfied, for they never see the sufficiency of grace. To hallow the name of God is, according to the scriptures, to recognize his holiness and to love and adore it in all things which proceed like words from the mouth of God. For what God creates each moment is a divine thought which is expressed by a thing, and so all these things are so many names and words through which He makes known His wishes." (p.51)

It's not that choosing whether or not to eat pancakes determines a person's spirituality. But if God cares about our lives (which He does!), and our lives are made up of moments, and moments are made up of choices, then God must care about the smallest choices, the most seemingly inconsequential decisions we make every moment!

We could be overwhelmed by the weight of having to make good choices all the time- but that would be missing the point. The beauty of having small count, is that every moment is anew. Every poor choice is passing, and there is a good choice right now, in the present moment. Every moment you are given the freedom to choose God.

Freedom.

One of our priests was speaking about freedom (in his wonderful Scottish accent), and he gave us a life illustration to explain how God's commands, His boundaries actually give us freedom. He said:

There were two men going to a football game in different cars. Neither of the men knew the way to the stadium. One of the men was given directions on how to get to the stadium. The other man was given no directions to the stadium, but he could drive around wherever he wanted.. Which of the men was more free to choose whether or not to go to the game?

Obviously, the man who knew the way was more free to choose whether or not he would go. In the same way, God's boundaries, His will for us enables us to have unsurpassed freedom and joy in our lives.

God's will for us is to live in freedom:
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galations 5:1)

 
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (2 Corinthains 3:17)
 
 
"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)
 

"In him [Christ] and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. "
(Ephesians 3:12)

My prayer for you today, my prayer for all of us, is that through the difficult choices we must make each moment we sense God's abundant grace leading us to freedom and life in Christ.

"Our only satisfaction must be to live in the present moment as if there were nothing to expect beyond it."
(Jean-Pierre De Caussade)

Her Masterpiece & Creme Fraiche

When you grow or raise much of your own food, there are many stories to accompany the meal. Let's just say our food has a "face." Sometimes as we eat we count how many of the dinner items have been provided by our own land, or at least grown locally.
Today I have a new story to tell- a little sad and amazing. I went to check the eggs this morning, and I noticed one of the hens slumped over in the nesting box. Her head was down, which is not normal for a hen in the process of laying an egg. I poked her gingerly, and horrified, I realized she was dead! We have had one hen laying double yolked eggs lately, which is a sign of old age in hens. I found the double-yolker-layer. And on taking her dying breath, she produced her last masterpiece. As I scooped the dead hen out of her nest, her last egg sat still warm from her body's heat. Oliver had the honor of eating the last double-yolker.

On another note, we have been enjoying the season's delicious strawberries.Now we have another reason to love them even more! I just learned a new way to make Creme Fraiche at home. Creme Fraiche is a sweet,thick cream. To make your own, stir in two Tablespoons of sour cream(not light) into a cup or two of heavy cream(ours is unpasteurized, but It's fine to use pasteurized). Allow the mixture to sit out for twenty-four hours at room temperature (you may cover with a light cloth). When the cream is done it should be thick and sweet. The longer it stands, the thicker it gets. Pour over strawberries and sprinkle with raw sugar.

Tommy devoured two bowls of strawberries and cream...

Anna gave hers to Tommy....

Tommy being silly...

Emily took this picture of Mary Margaret:

May is a special month to honor Mary. Emily took this pictue and I just discovered it while writing this blog entry: