Wednesday, January 5, 2011

You Are That One

"In the tender compassion of our God the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace." (Luke 1: 78-79)

This is the beautiful thought I woke up to this morning. I am so thankful for this newly carved out time.

This evening, I decluttered my "prayer corner." We have a little room off to the side of the dining room we call the "playroom," but we mostly read and sit in this room. I have decided it is a good room for morning prayer. I like the view out the little windows. This is what I see when I am sitting in my rocking chair. It is the most comfy rocker, 1.00 (yes, one dollar) at the local thrift store. I covered it with a cozy afghan, and I'm good to go!

I am so pleased with the Christmas gift from my parents: another year's subscription to Magnificat- the cornerstone to my prayer time.

There is so much I gleaned from spending time with God this morning. I read each reading slowly and thoughtfully. I was struck by the last line in today's Gospel:

"They (the disciples) had not understood the incident of the loaves. On the contrary, their hearts were hardened."  (Mark 6:51)

I was astonished; I don't recall hearing this line , but I have read it and heard it many times before. Today, the truth of the Gospel sank in. Jesus has just performed the astounding miracle of the loaves and fishes, yet it isn't enough for his disciples. Their hearts are still HARDENED. Here are Jesus' chosen followers, living the miracle, and they can't see it.


Jesus is trying to reveal to his followers God's mercy, God's truths, but because their hearts are hard, they can't accept the truth.

I point my finger, I shame those pitiful disciples, and God gently whispers to another hardened heart,

"You are that one. You are that disciple. I have chosen you. I have called you by name. Do you know me? Or is your heart cold, rock, and solid?"

What is the Lord trying to reveal to *my* hardened heart? And my children. Why do I get so impatient with them, when it is only through the generous Mercy and compassion of a loving father that I can praise Him and do any good?

I remembered that in Psalm 95:7-8 we are told "Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts." The first step in doing God's will then, is listening- listening and waiting for God's truth to be revealed.  I need to "be still and know that (he) is God," (psalm 46:10)  before I can truly follow Him.

The dining room window in the evening

This sweet note greeted me when I came up from raking hay with Sam and Tommy.