Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The wind, in its shapeless form, hollows sky and parts seas, and I, restless and unmade, find form in His breathing of life, his imparting of soul manna.
Tossed. Feverish. Unsettled. The storm raged over roof and vexed sleep last night. I awoke feeling restless and agitated.
I pray with the psalmist, "Whither shall I go from thy Spirit? Or whither shall I flee from thy presence?" (psalm 139:7), and I know that God is surely present in the tempest; He does not depart. I cannot flee. But sometimes the greatest cross to bear is staying. Not running. Not hiding. I stand before God in all disfigurement, unashamed of my naked soul.
I settle in my chair this morning with one of my best friends in hand. De Caussade never fails to move me with his words of wisdom. He speaks on the restlessness of the human heart, of how to really do God's will, and how the waiting and being open to divine promptings is the deepest form of prayer. Remaining detached, emptied, open...this is the surest disposition, the most holy posture of prayer:
Leave everything else to God, except for your love and obedience to the duties of the moment...
We possess and enjoy God by union with His will, and we deceive ourselves if we imagine we can have this delight by any other means.
God unites His will to ours in a thousand different ways, and the one he employs in our case is always the best for us. We should honor and love them all, for they are all arranged by God to suit each individual soul to bring about this union.
We must keep ourselves detached from all we feel or do if we are to travel along His path and live only for God and the duties of the present moment. We must stop all imaginings of the future, keep our attention on what is happening now and not bother about anything that has gone before or what may follow.
I imagine that God's will always governs you. You will then have some inner prompting which makes you say: "I feel drawn to this person or this book; I would like to give another person some advice or ask for some myself; I wish to complain about something, to open my heart to someone and in turn receive confidence, to give something away or to perform a certain action..."
We must give ourselves to whatever God wishes and for as long as He wishes and yet never get personally involved in them...There is never a moment when there is not some virtue to be practiced.
But whatever we do, we do it because we are drawn to this particular action without knowing why. All we can say can be reduced to this: " I feel drawn to write, to read, to question and examine. I obey this feeling, and God who is responsible for it, thus builds up within me a kind of spiritual store which, in the future, will develop into a core of usefulness for myself and others."
(excerpt from: Abandonment To Divine Providence pgs 80-81)
Yes...what it all comes down to is one simple line, a creed, a daring manifesto: Thy Will be done. In all, through all, amidst all...His Will be done. When we fall in love with God, when we seek to exist as a tool in the master's hands, He can do wondrous things. He can give shape to the formless, He can make something from nothing.