Cold air hushes a muted world on the verge of dawning glory. Life all hung in suspense breathes quiet and deep, just pulsing, silently waiting. Mystery longs in the shadowed greys and whites revealed in untouched photos.
Could this really be possible? Have I witnessed that one moment, the grand morning rebirth- the miracle of another day alive? I had stepped out only minutes before, camera in hand, into the eerie landscape lacking color. Ethereal, almost, was the bland greyness of void- like a lost soul waiting for redemption.
And then...then.... the explosion of light that illuminates wonder...Illumination!
It has come. He has come. And this is right where I need to be, on this spot of earth, in His presence!
It's these God moments that I yearn for, scour for, day after day. Yes, we need to keep our eyes and hearts open.... anticipating like the dawn awaits the light .
"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with Him?"
But the moments, they ARE all gift. Gift bestowed on the aching and hungry. And when we're given these precious treasures, we must savor them and give gratitude without always grasping for more. That's the tricky part- the release. Knowing the joy, the beauty, the peace, and then letting go.
Later in the day, we drive into a school parking lot to pick John Paul up from his tennis practice. I suddenly veer off the side of the road, yelling, "Look! Do you see that?!!"
"Mom, you can't park here!," the children all clamor, little ones jumping into my excitement. I hop out of the car and say,
"But this is Lent!! Look at these thorns!!"
Three inch thorns grace sunlight, and I see the pain He felt, and my children- they see it too.
All are quiet.
"Mommy, do you think the thorns on Jesus' crown were this long?," Sam trembles to ask. "I can't stand the thought of that," he continues. "Imagine that in your flesh, in your head, going through your skull."
He fondles the thorns almost reverently and asks to bring some home, "as a reminder."
I look at light blazing through suffering, and the second time this day God has shown me redemption, the ugly made beautiful, the scorned made sacred.
And after days and days of Tommy lying in bed moaning, he comes downstairs smiling this morning, and he says" I'm hungry!" And I literally run over and hug him, another moment of rebirth.
"Tommy, I'm so gald to see you feeling better!"
I hadn't noticed the smile gone until it came back.
He smiles too,and he delights in what it feels like to be able to smile again.
And one day- one day we will all smile again the deep joy-smile that we never have to release.
Because He already paid the price.