Autumn Gift

We step into the juicy cool crisp of a November morning. Smoke from the neighbor's fire curls around our faces and I feel myself breathe, inhale Autumn.
 Little people clamor for boots and gloves and scarves and coats....so they can do this...

                Yes, become like little children....exultant, exuberant, plunging, knowing the joy of NOW.

           
                    To think that every day gifts are waiting to be discoverd right beyond the doorstep.

One time, several years ago, we eagerly anticipated the emerging of our Monarch butterfly from its chrysalis. These little stinging bugs are what greeted us instead. I did not think these insects were beautiful then. Today, though, they seemed beautiful. I wasn't expecting something else.

 Walking along the road,  we found that one of our chickens had been hit by a car. Mary Margaret turned it over with her foot, and we had a lesson on decomposition and the return of life to the earth. The children were fascinated, not repulsed to see the process of life and death.

The gift of sky breadth, of swollen shadows and billowing white

A treasure to bring home

and a reminder that dear Oliver is well, and I am so thankful. (I painted the saying above the door the day he went to the hospital. It brought me much peace and solace over the following months.)

When I think of what may have happened to Oliver, and how scary and out of my hands the whole experience was...I just want to embrace each of my children and shout, "I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE A GIFT!!!!" Remember, this is what our Heavenly father wants to say to YOU!

YOU ARE A GIFT!

Sparkling Water

      It had been a long day of groceries and errands. The mist shrouding us begged for a camera; beauty is never wasted on these hungry eyes. Leaving town, we crested the last hill, revealing our mountains and flooding me with peace. Still eighteen miles to go. Home.

5:00. Nothing planned for dinner. I go to the freezer and get out some pork chops to grill. Why didn't I get these out this morning? Oh well. It will give me time to sautee the apples and brussel sprouts. We manage to get the groceries put away, amidst the chaos of eight hungry children and bags everywhere.

I treated myself today. I'm going to be forty soon, and I bought a special drink to celebrate.

photo credit: Emily Smithdeal

My mother fixed this for me when we were at the beach this summer: sparkling water, cranberry juice, all sweetened with a little homemade sugar syrup (sugar boiled in water to make a syrup). YUM!
I had the sparkling water up on the counter (as a muse? I don't know). Anyway...it was there...waiting for ME! Ninety-nine out of  a hundred days, I rarely give a thought to the fact that nothing is really *mine* in our house. With ten other people, half of them ten and under, "mine"  is a non-existent word.

As I was typing this, John Paul walked in and said with a distressed voice, "Mother, I just made the horrible discovery that people just 'take a brush' when it's time to brush teeth. Can you please buy me a toothbrush? That's not asking too much to have my own toothbrush!!!" Dare I admit he was being serious? And do you realize that long ago we should have bought stock in toothbrush-making companies, because we own so many? It's not my fault he didn't do a better job hiding his toothbrush!

Back to the sparkling water. There it sat on the counter, undisturbed, when WHOOOMPF! Faster than lightning, one of my sweet children (one who is old enough to know better), grabs the sparkling water from the counter, looks at it, and opens it, all in a matter of a milisecond.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!"  I scream. Yes, SCREAM, "THAT'S MINE! CAN'T I HAVE JUST ONE THING THAT DOESN"T GET TAKEN OVER?!!!"
I am embarassed to admit how childish I was acting. I mean I just blew a fuse. As in, you would have thought he was touching a hand grenade about to go. He hightailed it so fast out of the kitchen, he probably thought it was a hand grenade!

Within two seconds, I felt the shame. The shame of being so impatient. The shame of getting so upset over a little bottle of seltzer water. The frustration of once again failing to model a Christ-like attitude to my children. The pain of failure.

I called a shocked little boy back into the kitchen and apologized. I hugged him and explained as best I could why the 'outburst.' There was a time in my parenting when I really struggled with impatience and frustration, but over the years, I have gotten so much better- in fact so much better that I didn't think I would ever get upset over something so little.

Back to humility. Back to realizing that it is only through God's amazing grace that I'm not a mess with the children every day! Back to thanking God for his infinte mercy that allows us to start fresh every moment. I am learning all over again, that apart from God, I AM NOTHING!

So what happened next? I decided to make my celebration drink right then and there! Emily joined me, and she actually wanted to take these pictures...and even set up a little cheese and cracker plate.



photo credit: Emily Smithdeal

 As I was making dinner, the children were getting a little antsy, and I felt frustration surging...so...I let them paint! Sure, it was a little messy, but it kept them happy and quiet until supper was ready, and no more tears!

Tommy paints "a jail"

Emily helepd me fix the dinner. "My favorite smell in the world is cooking Brussel sprouts!" (How do you like that, Pa Pa?)

We had a delicious meal, sparkling water and all!

Beauty in Little Places

"Can I please pet the chickens, Mommy, PLEEEEASE!?"

"We can get dressed after breakfast and go to see them. Come in the kitchen."

"No, Mommy, I want to see them now!!!"

Then I realized:

And, "Yes," laughingly, "Anna, you may go ahead and pet the chickens now."

And, no I did not have my camera ready to capture the sweet moment that ensued. Isn't that the nature of life? When we try to capture moments, they are gone.
I gain such childish pleasure over filling the nooks and crannies of our home with little treasures...that will be discovered...and hopefully explored.

Ella, my niece, gave me the lovely blue bottle last Spring, filled with sunny Daffodils. Now we have filled it with a bit of Autumn.

Little hands and mouths love clementines. Mama loves the peels. They can be dried and mixed with cloves and cinnamon to make a cozy simmering spice.

Can peels be decorative? Perhaps when they are drying on a window sill~ deilcately, gracefully. Art is everywhere. I like to deocorate our home with natural objects. The "decor" naturally changes with the seasons, as we gather what delights us from the great banquet out of doors!

Legacy

Looking out the window on the way to my childhood home, an hour over the mountain

Life is a dance.

We must live in the present, yet seek the eternal. Savor the moment and build for the future. With our eyes towards Heaven, we feather our earthly nests with love and pepper them with beauty. There are distractions, there is ugliness in the world and in our own hearts that can spew forth and bubble over at any given time. Yet still, we must strive and labor on the journey towards our heavenly home and hopefully leave a  legacy behind that enables our loved ones to do the same..

I am rich. I have an inheritance that I hope to pass on to my own children. It is the inheritance of home. A legacy... 

Of friendly ghosts in the woods, of warm hugs that melt, happy faces not waiting, but running out to meet...

Grandma greets the girls at the van



Pa Pa hugs Emily



An inheritance of beauty in unexpected places, little details that mattered because I am loved, friends waving over fences...

A handing down of traditions that knit our hearts and affections, make us laugh and water our souls...

Tommy bobs for apples

and so do I!

John Paul's turn

Tommy holds the prize



the jeering crowds



A treasure hunt with hand drawn clues that perplex and amuse:

...Where even the grown-ups get a prize!

Home is the reassurance that you will be well-cared for:

There is always food on the table or a simple snack to prepare. Nothing is too much trouble.

Grandma and Papa's cozy kitchen

We had a wonderful Halloween celebration yesterday at Grandma and Papa's.

Tommy (dressed as a 'shirt' for Halloween) with his cousin, Ella

The ride home last night gave me a lot to think about. I was thinking how these three little boys of mine are not so little anymore...

And how we have been taking our children trick-or-treating for seventeen years, now. And how my parents have made it all happen all these years, and now it's time to hand down the torch...

Thinking of the passage of time and how the moments evaporate into fully grown children who aren't making halloween costumes anymore.

And Tradition. It is important.  Things can't always be the same, and we can't force tradition, but there is comfort and joy in knowing that we will once again be doing what we know.

That being said....Tradition does not just happen. Tradition tells our children that we care enough to make life special for them, that we value family togetherness and that togetherness is the glue that binds a family. It is not what  we do together as a family, but the spirit with which we do it that

makes life grand. Frozen eggrolls in front of a football game can be just as heart warming as an elaborate feast with wine and cheese.

Better [is] a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. Proverbs 15:17

Thank you, Mom and Dad!