Treasure

A family walk on a warm February day...
Hunting for treasure, hiding in camouflage...
And one day, hopefully, they will know that the real treasure found on that day was each other...
The gift of shared memories and God-painted canvas forever etched...
And knowing that despite the daily grind of life...bickerings..and working things out...
they had what was most important.

Can you find Sam?
He bought a ghillie suit with his birthday money...

The prize.....

A Quiet Morning

Do you ever read something, only to realize later how prophetic that something truly was? A few days ago, I opened to this section in "The Rule Of St Benedict" :

The ninth step of humility is that a monk restrain his tongue from speaking , keeping silence until a question is asked him, as the Scripture shows: in much talking you will not avoid sin
(Prov 10:19); and the talkative one goes without direction upon the earth (Psalm 140:12).

The next day I lost my voice...as in I can only whisper. Try dealing with nine children and no voice! I'm sure my hand gestures, clapping, and squeaking appear quite comical.The worst is when one of the children calls me from upstairs, and I am downstairs; I can't yell "What?!" back to them, So they yell "Mom!" over and over and over again. I've just started clapping, so they remember I can't talk to them.

Yesterday at the "Y" there was a scene. We were trying to eat our "dinner" in the little foyer of the building, and I just couldn't get it orchestrated (ie..kids were not cooperating). I was trying to whisper out orders, totally not making an impact, and Ben said: "I'm so glad you don't have your voice right now!" It was so funny, but I couldn't laugh!

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." (Luke 2:19)

All craziness and frustration aside, losing my voice has made me rethink the value of silence. William Penn said:

Love silence, even in the mind; for thoughts are to that as words are to the body, troublesome: much speaking, as much thinking, spends. True silence is the rest of the mind; and it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.
(William Penn, Advice To His Children)

How many times in my life do I wish I could unspeak spoken words? How often is silence a balm, a peaceful acceptance and listening that brings healing? And what I often crave most  is the silence of others, when I won't remain quiet myself. The amazing thing is, since I have started having to communicate with my children by whispering, they have started whispering back to me, just out of what seems right. Quiet breeds more quiet, just as loudness breeds more loudness.

So will I stop talking when my voice is back ? (Travis....I see your excited face!) Of course not! But I think I am going to work much harder at cultivating a spirit of quiet in my heart, and I'm going to watch my words more carefully. Is it any coincidence that I have lost my voice during Lent? I don't think so. Maybe God is telling me in His beautiful quiet way that there is something to be said for that great sweet silence that stills spirit and mind.

Weekend Walk

Grandma and Papa came for a visit. Mom, Sam, and I walked and walked. Unbeknownst to us, John Paul was secretly "stalking" us. As I came up the path, he tore out of the woods and charged right towards me. Oh, it was scary!! I shrieked. And he's lucky to still have a mama to make his meals for him and tuck him in bed at night! I'll give you a break today...no heavy thoughts...just lots and lots of pictures from our weekend walk. And no, unfortunately no pictures of John Paul's moment of raging lunacy!

Seeing Stars

I think I'm smoothing lotion over hands and realize I am tugging, pulling, wrenching hand in hand. I'm reminded of the Doctor in Macbeth, who questions of Lady Macbeth, "What is it she does now? Look how she rubs her hands."

It has been a long day; the children have been sick over a week now, and Oliver has been experiencing some complications in his kidneys again. Tommy had an allergic reaction to the Tylenol, and teenagers come and go-so hard to keep up with. My mind goes back again and again to those poor souls in Japan and their amazing bravery and solidarity. Yes, that's the word: solidarity.

Word Etymology has always fascinated me, and I discovered an interesting article in Wikipedia about where the words "solid" and "solidarity" originated. Here is an excerpt of that article:

"The solidus (the Latin word for solid) was originally a gold coin issued by the Romans, and a weight measure for gold more generally, corresponding to 4.5 grams...The solidus was maintained essentially unaltered in weight and purity until the 10th century...The word soldier is ultimately derived from solidus, referring to the solidi with which soldiers were paid."

It always seems to come down to money...

I remember reading once that a cross should be worn around the neck not merely as a decoration but as a symbol of solidarity with Christ. I decided I would start wearing my cross for Lent, and it's amazing how much having it around my neck has helped me in times of temptation. It just serves as a visual and tactile reminder that as a follower of Christ, I must be one with his purposes, and "take up my cross" each moment.

Thoughts are like stars, and when we connect those thoughts, a constellation is illuminated in the mind. Here are a few of the stars flickering in my brain right now:

*I look at a band aid wrapper and see the Spanish word, sin, which in English means "without." It dawns on me that that is exactly what sin is...being without God. When I sin, I am choosing to do something without God- out of his bounds, out of his heart.

**.St Benedict said that we all need to find space for God. His fitting phrase for this was:  "vacare Deo," literally vacating, or making empty for God.

*** Boethius described the wise person as one who savors everything as it really is : "Sapiens est cui omnia sapiunt sictui sunt."

On the way home from taking Oliver to the Doctor, we pulled to the side of the road for a funeral procession. Car after car, filled with loved ones streamed down the road. I thought about time being so fleeting and how it always eludes me most when I'm trying to live in the moment. For Lent, that's a good reminder: The moment. It's all I have. My prayer is that I can sanctify these moments, these specks of time, and make them eternal.

He Always Will

photo credit: Ben Smithdeal

A dear friend of mine posted this Bible verse on my Face book "wall" this morning:

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lamp stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. "
~Matthew 5:14-16

I was so glad she did that because I have been thinking about this verse all day.

This is what Lent is: illuminating  a shadowed world with the brilliance of His light. God does not shower us with His grace so that we can seal it away, hoard it within.

Photo Credit: Ben Smithdeal

Let me tell you about a lovely woman named Francis. I was standing in line yesterday with all the children in the customer service center at Walmart. Not my idea of fun. Anyway, Anna had quite the get- up on. We had just come from the gym  (she calls it the "YMZ"), and she was sporting this tie-dyed tank top with a sequin peace sign on it. Some how she managed to snatch it out of the 'give away bag ' and she said it's her "YMZ outfit."

So we were standing there, Anna all dudded up, when a woman across the room says (looking at Anna),

 "Ooooh! I love that shirt. Where did you find that cute top? That's really different."

I told the woman that we had been given the shirt as a hand-me-down. She looked at me, smiling, and then:

"I always did handy-downs (that's what she called them) with my kids. And I always bought nice clothes for my kids. So when they was done with them, I jest passed the blessin' on to someone else. That's the way it always works. I give and give and God he jest blesses me more than I ever give.

I had all this furniture in my garage, and I didn't know where to put it. But I didn't want to get rid of it 'cause it had sentimental value. So the Lord, he showed me jest what to do with it. He showed me places to put everything. He blessed every room. He's gonna' bless me right out the house and into the garage!"

Photo Credit: Ben Smithdeal

We talked a little more about blessings and furniture, and then she reached a hand out to me.

"Do you mind telling me your name? You see I always meet people, and then when I pray for them, I don't know a name to put with the face. So I decided that from now on, I would ask people their names for when I pray for them."

At this point, I was feeling so humbled and moved by genuine kindness.

"And...your name?" I asked.

"My name is Francis." She said. "You sure do have cute children. They really are a blessing."

photo credit: Ben Smithdeal

We then introduced all of our children to each other- this huge meeting, this sharing, this communion...right in Walmart.The man standing in line behind me witnessing all this looked at us like we were nuts. I don't know what he was thinking. But I do know this: The world is in desperate need of Francises. The world is craving the gentle charity and benevolence of kind strangers. But that's just it: We are not strangers! We are all God's children, one family.

We cannot wait until we are in church, or with friends, or even at the ball games to open and give of ourselves- in our comfort zones. We must be light to all, in all- right where we are, right now!! Lent is all about giving, opening  up and pouring out to others so that He can refill us. And He always will. Always.