Your Child IS Gifted!

Remember when I wrote a little while back that I was wanting to write about the 'giftedness' of all children? I haven't been inspired to do so yet....until today. Somehow a copy of "Parents" magazine ended up in my mailbox; I definitely did not order it, as I have never cared much for the publication.

After wondering why this magazine came to me, I turned my attention to the cover :"How To Tell If Your Child Is Gifted."  Wow. Can you picture a young mother reading this and quickly turning to the right page to determine the extent of her child's gifts? Or...maybe her child isn't even gifted at all, but here's how to tell.

So I turn to the article, and how convenient: There's a chart titled : "Is Your Child Gifted Or Just Smart?" Seriously? I can read a little box chart in "Parents" magazine to find out if I have just an average smart kid or an OOH 'gifted' child.


The article discusses different options for 'gifted' children and claims that "the lack of options for gifted kids may be due to the ambivalence Americans feel about anything that smacks of elitism." (p63) Excuse me? Schools aren't good enough for some kids because no- one wants to admit how amazing those kids are? Is it just me...or is this extremely offensive?

I'm no big fan of  Amy Chua, the "Tiger mother," but I will say one thing in her defense: In her mind every child is "gifted." Every child can do it. And isn't this true? Aren't all children 'gifted' in their own ways? Howard Gardner in his book, Multiple Intelligences,  expounds on his theory that all children have gifts, or 'intelligences' as he refers to them; it is up to parents and mentors to foster and nurture the gifts specific to that child.

Maybe some children lean towards science. Maybe towards music or art. Maybe a child can't draw at all, but he is happiest expressing himself in that way. Isn't that a gift?  One child may have an incredible sense of humor, while another child can listen and empathize ...all gifts.

To gain clarity on this issue, I turned to 1Corinthians, chapter twelve. Will you take time to read this? God's word always defines truth.  The truth about giftedness is crucial to the understanding and development of our children and ourselves if we are going to become who God has called us to be:


4 There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. 5 There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6 There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.

7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28 And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues[d]? Do all interpret? 31 Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.

Her Pink Shoes

"Everyone needs to get in the car NOW!!" I am screaming once again from the kitchen. Always in a hurry, always running late, the bustle and hustle of a frenzied family- trying to do lessons, exercise, go to practices-all these luxuries that fill and overflow our days, sometimes to the point of breaking.

"Does Anna have socks and shoes on, Emily?"
"Um...yes. She has socks and shoes on..."
"Well, please bring her out to the car, then!"

I get a quick glimpse of Anna and I am jolted-yes jolted out of this fumbling moment. Little girl, stands so proud in her shorts, arms stuffed with clothes, pink shoes and bold socks speak confidence. What makes me grab my camera in a moment that might have normally set me fussing again?

In that moment, I see what most of us adults lack: self confidence. The ability to me who I am in the face of all that is not me. Every day, in so many ways, I know why the Lord tells us to become like children!

He tells us :

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2)

The droplets of water, settling on a limb, they seek to conform...but in pulling forth, in moving on, in not conforming, they become beautiful.

Why is it that we teach our children to conform in so many damaging ways, and then we're surprised that they do not think on their own, express their feelings, come up with new ideas?

I walked on this icy morning, and I thought about Conformity. There is a healthy and helpful conformity that binds people together. We cannot just all go about doing and saying whatever we want. That is not the conformity that Paul speaks of. He is speaking against the dangerous conformity that lures our hearts and minds away from the will of God.

So if not conform, then what?

"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

We need to renew...RE-NEW, make new over and over, our minds- every day, every moment. We must take time to read God's word, pray, meditate, keep still and quiet..and feel our minds being transformed.

And this transformation? Why? So that we can:

"prove what the will of God is."

By NOT conforming to this world, by renewing our minds and hearts, we become A testimony to others of WHO GOD IS.

When we say "No!" to the world, when we choose not to conform in ways that are harmful to the dignity of life, when we make the choice to do the right thing at the cost of rejection, we become an instrument of God.

It's so difficult, and I fail in so many ways, every day, but that's why we have to continually be renewed...for the strength to make good choices.

I think one of the reasons I find nature so healing, is because of what it teaches me about God.

All nature conforms perfectly with the will of God precisely through its nonconformity. All nature speaks of the symmetry and perfection of a loving creator who molded each droplet, chiseled every crystal, curled each leaf into a manifesto of exquisite nonconformity.

All the details of a landscape, their differences orchestrated into one grand masterpiece, reveal that nonconformity, in the hands of a loving father, conforms to perfection.

And we, in our nonconformity, and through the renewing of our minds, can be brought to perfection in Christ who has deemed us His greatest masterpiece.

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.

~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I come home from my walk, mind renewed, to a small girl shivering, wanting Mama. I see pink boots on huddled legs, and hope that one day I can be like that little girl.

How To Love Like A Child

I want to scoop him up in the fullness of the moon, the fullness of the moment- baby boy body all bathing in moonlight. He lies in sweet precious sleep on his mattress by the window. The lunar glow sweeps his face, illuminating delicate eyelash curl. I lie awake in my bed and adore. My heart is hollowed and a room is hallowed by innocence and beauty.

 What have I done to deserve this? Bustling babies with bright eyes and eager hearts long to love me every day. Why? How do they continue to love and trust a Mama so frayed and irritable lately? Is it because they adore me? Is this why Jesus said to become like little children? They know how to love. Somewhere in the years we forget how to love like a child, to adore.

Will you spend some time in adoration this weekend? Take time to adore your child, adore creation, adore the Lord. Play some beautiful music and light a candle, alone, for ten minutes? Maybe if we spend more time nurturing a spirit of adoration, we will be able to love in more complete, unconditional ways- as little children do.

Adoremus!

I Love This Boy

Sam~ 8 yrs old

When I was just a couple of months pregnant with Sam, I knew I was having a miscarriage. What "water" I had broke, and it was just a matter of time before I lost my precious baby. But it never happened. Several days after the threatened miscarriage,  I remember going out to the hammock, hung between two spreading oaks, and knowing this: God has a special plan for this child. Sam is only eight, and I don't know what he will be called to in life, but he is certainly a special boy.

self-portrait, Sam, age 8

My little boy is a content child. While he is mischievous, LOUD, and rambunctious as they come, Sam is happy with so little. He owns only a handful of things: a bed, clothes, his beloved army soldiers, his magnatiles, and a few stuffed animals. That's pretty much it. But you know what? His freedom from attachment is a big part of his happiness. He wants me to have "tons more babies" (as he puts it) because he doesn't feel threatened that they will crowd him out or take over his belongings. Once again, I am reminded.
            Become like little children.

Sam helps Tommy Play Bingo

Sam is a big brother, always helpful to the younger children; he truly cherishes them. Today he asked me, "Mommy, do all the little babies survive the winter?" I didn't know what he meant, come to find out, he was talking about babies growing inside their Mamas.
"Yes," I reassured him. "They stay warm and cozy inside their Mamas."
"I wish you were having another baby."

Today we went to a special birthday lunch, and I told Sam I wanted him to wear a certain shirt. He wasn't happy about it, but I heard him say to himself later, "I'll get over wearing this shirt." Not, "I'll get used to it," or "I can take this off later."
"I'll Get Over It."
I decided to make this my mantra...sort of a form of 'and this too shall pass.' The realization that this is 'hard' now, but soon I won't even be thinking about it.
Become Like Little Children

As sensitive and thoughtful as Sam is, He can be quite silly too!

Here he is in his dress shirt at Michie Tavern.

Sam with cousin Joshua

My little boy made me a meaningful birthday gift. I see his little hands at work- soiled from climbing trees, chafed by play, dirt in the cracks of his nails, pushing and molding something for his Mama. He was squirreled up in his room for hours.

No, he didn't want help from anyone, and "Don't come in Mom" ; a boy with a hammer, growing feet finding Daddy's big footsteps, crafting a wooden treasure in secret. The little nails didn't hit just right, and  the wood wasn't just the way he wanted it, but he did it himself. A hewn cross made perfect with love.

Tommy wanted to give something to me, as well, so Sam made sure he included him in on the gift giving. When I thanked Sam for the present, he carefully reminded me, "It's from Tommy,too."

Sam, my darling, I will always love you, always cherish you, always care for you.

The little note Sam included in my birthday jar (more on that tomorrow!)