Oliver's Marble Shooter

Check Out Oliver's Marble Shooter in Snapshots!

Seeing Stars

I think I'm smoothing lotion over hands and realize I am tugging, pulling, wrenching hand in hand. I'm reminded of the Doctor in Macbeth, who questions of Lady Macbeth, "What is it she does now? Look how she rubs her hands."

It has been a long day; the children have been sick over a week now, and Oliver has been experiencing some complications in his kidneys again. Tommy had an allergic reaction to the Tylenol, and teenagers come and go-so hard to keep up with. My mind goes back again and again to those poor souls in Japan and their amazing bravery and solidarity. Yes, that's the word: solidarity.

Word Etymology has always fascinated me, and I discovered an interesting article in Wikipedia about where the words "solid" and "solidarity" originated. Here is an excerpt of that article:

"The solidus (the Latin word for solid) was originally a gold coin issued by the Romans, and a weight measure for gold more generally, corresponding to 4.5 grams...The solidus was maintained essentially unaltered in weight and purity until the 10th century...The word soldier is ultimately derived from solidus, referring to the solidi with which soldiers were paid."

It always seems to come down to money...

I remember reading once that a cross should be worn around the neck not merely as a decoration but as a symbol of solidarity with Christ. I decided I would start wearing my cross for Lent, and it's amazing how much having it around my neck has helped me in times of temptation. It just serves as a visual and tactile reminder that as a follower of Christ, I must be one with his purposes, and "take up my cross" each moment.

Thoughts are like stars, and when we connect those thoughts, a constellation is illuminated in the mind. Here are a few of the stars flickering in my brain right now:

*I look at a band aid wrapper and see the Spanish word, sin, which in English means "without." It dawns on me that that is exactly what sin is...being without God. When I sin, I am choosing to do something without God- out of his bounds, out of his heart.

**.St Benedict said that we all need to find space for God. His fitting phrase for this was:  "vacare Deo," literally vacating, or making empty for God.

*** Boethius described the wise person as one who savors everything as it really is : "Sapiens est cui omnia sapiunt sictui sunt."

On the way home from taking Oliver to the Doctor, we pulled to the side of the road for a funeral procession. Car after car, filled with loved ones streamed down the road. I thought about time being so fleeting and how it always eludes me most when I'm trying to live in the moment. For Lent, that's a good reminder: The moment. It's all I have. My prayer is that I can sanctify these moments, these specks of time, and make them eternal.

Just A Year Ago

A little boy creates, and I give thanks for curled toes tucked under legs.

It was one year ago that Oliver was slipping from us. His body was shutting down, for no apparent reason, and no-one knew what was happening. A vibrant mischievous boy was convulsing so hard, he was induced into a coma and airlifted to a hospital  miles away. He spent three weeks in the ICU, and when he was finally healed, the doctors still didn't know what exactly happened.  A virus? An undiagnosed disease? A mystery.

When Oliver first woke up from his induced coma, he was a different child. He was angry and belligerent, which is not the Oliver we know and love. His memory was foggy and I was scared. My math wizard, my inquisitive boy, could no longer even write or hold a pencil. I was assured that it was all normal, but it wasn't normal for me. To see his sweet face and hug his precious body was amazing, but to not feel his spirit, his life-  was terrifying. What if he doesn't come back. Where is he? Will he ever be the same?

We didn't have time to entertain worries. We were still fighting for his survival. His blood pressure started skyrocketing for no apparent reason, and medicine was not controlling it. At first his kidneys were not functioning, but then he started developing a strange rash. Questionable findings on his brain showed up on the MRIs. Everyday brought new and frightening developments.

Miraculously, and I do credit the multitude of prayers and heavenly mercy, Oliver was healed. He took high doses of steroids for months, which posed their own problems, but a year later...he is back to our Oliver.

Praise God!

He gets thrilled over a drawing kit that comes in the mail, like I've given him a hundred dollars to spend how he pleases. He dives in right away and draws an impressive still life.

Just Yesterday he had gone to the woods by himself to plant a pine sapling "to use for a bookend in my room." Then he decided that it needed more sun than his room could afford and brought it to the dining room.

I am filled with gratitude for his healing in body and spirit. When he was sick I promised that if he ever got well, I would never take his sweet spirit for granted. A promise made by a scared mama, desperate for his life and thinking that my ingratitude had something to do with it all.

The reality is that such a promise can't be kept. I can remind myself of how grateful I need to be,and  I know how Oliver truly blesses us with his presence. But gratitude doesn't operate in a vacum.

Nerves fray, children annoy, life grates, and living isn't all peace and love because we are human. We  think if we're not one hundred percent grateful, then we are not thankful people. The fact is, it is precisely the niggling of life that makes way for gratitude. We give thanks in the midst of all the mess- the spiritual mess we stew in day after day.

I would like to be able to say that after Oliver got well I never felt annoyed with him again. I do have a greater apprecitaion for not taking my children for granted, but it is shameful how easily I slip into old habits- my spiritual slippers, worn out and floppy.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have been reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts. She does such a lovely job of showing how to give thanks in the most seemingly mundane aspects of life. And this thanks, gratitude for the smallest graces, is life transforming.

I Have kept a "gratitude journal" for years and years now, but Ann's book has taught me how it is important to record even the smallest thanks in our lives. For example, yesterday I was stuck behind a school bus dropping off a load of children. A father was waiting expectantly at the bus stop for his children to get off of the bus. The children descended from the bus and ran to embrace their father. That incident went into my journal.

Ann has shown me how gratitude journals aren't about just what we experience and what happens to me individually. All instances of God's grace and beauty are cause for rejoicing.

Life isn't always beautiful, but a thankful attitude towards life, towards the smallest mercies unfolded can make life beautiful in a way that heals and restores our souls.

Bits n' Pieces

Bits n' Pieces:

collage making

dressing up

sewing

puppy care

new baby

baseball tryouts

photo shoots

Bach on piano

zumba

Shark vs Train

smoothies

walks

drawing

coloring books

homemade baby gifts

*A special thanks to my dear friend, Lissa, for her unbeatable kids' book reviews. We heard about Shark vs. Train on her blog. She has a knack for finding the books kids love! It's no wonder all her kids are amazing readers!

Finally, did I mention how happy your comments make me? Thanks for taking the time to drop a line. And don't forget to leave a link to your blog or website, over in the kindred spirits section in the sidebar! Just click on the green link and eneter your URL. Have a wonderful day!

Morning Mud Capers

Before I could even wipe the sleep from my eyes this morning, Tommy and Mary Margaret were outside collecting worms. We have had rain for days, and worms are everywhere! The kids were so excited, they came bursting through the door, muddy boots and all- through the kitchen, the dining room, and in to the school room, leaving a trail of mud chunks and water everywhere. I scooped them both up and carried them outside before they knew what was happening. Oliver was so dear. I asked him, "Could you please help me clean up this mess Tommy and Mary Margaret made?" He said, "Oh, I was already cleaning it. I wanted to get it cleaned up because sometimes when mornings start with a big mess, it spoils the whole day." Just hearing that made the mess worth it!

Reach For The Moon

I get asked all kinds of questions by the kids, but this was by far one of the most interesting ones. We were just finishing lunch when Oliver asked me(totally serious):

"Mom, do you think you would have to spend at least twenty years in jail if you took the American flag off the moon?"

"What?" I answered, not really thinking I heard him right.

"Well, Sam says when he grows up, he's going to take the American flag off the moon because it's not respectful to leave it there."

Don't ask me where they hatch these ideas. It sure would be interesting to know!!!

"Do You Want Fries With That?"

I think the best kind of learning happens when kids don't know they're "learning." And I love to find out about this incidental learning when it comes out in conversations with the kids. Today Oliver and I were discussing advertising tactics over burgers at McDonald's. He really wanted to get one of the new iced coffee drinks they're advertising in the restaurant(with a huge poster-looks totally refreshing). I told him I didn't think today was a good day to get one because we had all the little children with us.

"Oh well" Oliver said resignedly. "It's probably all just margarine at the top of the picture, anyway."

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Well, McDonald's just wants their food to sell, so when they're taking the pictures they don't really use the real food. They use margarine for ice cream so it looks fluffier and not all melted. They glue sesame seeds on to puffed up hamburger buns so that every seed is in perfect place."

I looked at my smashed hamburger bun. It definitely didn't resemble the fluffy bun on the picture on the menu. But I didn't know how Oliver was suddenly such an expert on fast food marketing ploys.

"So how do you know all of this? It sounds a little crazy."

"I read it in that Do Not Open book" (really cool book by John Farndon -available at Amazon)


Oliver had read the book (we had checked it out of the library a couple months ago). He found it to be very interesting. The conversation turned into Oliver's disbelief that people (marketers) get paid to think up advertising for big corporations.

"That sounds like a fun job !" Oliver said, as he crammed his mouth full of fries. Life doesn't get any better, in my opinion.